April 30th, 2010 by cgerber
It’s weird, not to open up too much but I think I’m going insane. That or I’ve made it. Or admitted it. Not sure which. Once again I’ve spent another Friday night alone. On purpose. I don’t know if this sounds strange to you or not, but coming from someone who rarely ever sits still and is always doing something, spending Friday night closed off isn’t what I do. My whole life Friday meant time to party. Always. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to party, but I’ve been really reclusive lately and I’m not sure why. I’m enjoying it for some strange reason. I’ve had my moments in the past where I would hold up in a dark room for days, but eventually I would go out ya know? I still do that. But this has been going on a few weeks now. Maybe I’m working too much? I feel like my perspectives on life have changed 15 times in the last week. I wanted to do something tonight, but I wasn’t happy with any of the thousands of options I have living here in Los Angeles. I don’t know what I want lol. I keep watching movies with my dog. Last night was American Psycho, tonight is my favorite movie Sweeney Todd. Sweeney Todd and A.I. are my all time favorite movies for oh so many reasons. One represents the first part of my life, the 2nd… well the 2nd part lol. Love this movie. So yeah…. I might be turning into a hermit. The only thing that makes me want to go out is the thought of disappearing. And I don’t mean the “emo” sense either lol. I mean really falling off the map. Gone into the wilds of South America, or out on the open ocean sailing the world. No name, no home, no destination, just drifting. Oh how close I’ve come so many times too! It’s probably better that’s not the case though. I sometimes forget to eat when I’m distracted lol. Not a good habit I’ll admit lol.
I’ll have to keep you posted on this hermit business. I’m not worrying just yet… too much anyway.
Chad Gerber
April 30th, 2010 by cgerber
I’m doing merch research right now…. and tour research right now actually. Everything is changing, so I need to remain ahead of the curve. This requires researching and filling my brain 24 hours a day. Helps that I don’t sleep all that much, and when I don’t sleep I don’t feel tired! It’s great. Unless I want to sleep and feel normal. Then it’s not lol.
It’s Friday. I’ve been so wrapped up in what I’m doing that I don’t even know what’s going on this weekend. I know I might have a birthday party to go to, but that’s it! Do I want to come up with something to do tonight? Or should I just keep working? These are serious problems as I’m sure you know. What are you doing tonight?
I think I’m doing a citywide scavenger hunt Sunday. Yeah it sounds weird I know, but it might be fun. A city of almost 20 million people, trying to do a scavenger hunt… is that even possible? I mean, we could break it off into a chunk, but if we do the whole city??? It can take an hour and a half just to get across the city lol. At the moment I don’t feel like going Sunday. But I’m hoping my attitude changes lol.
I guess I solved 2 things possibly. Birthday and Scavenger hunt. Still don’t have tonight solved though. I really need some picks and strings! I need to many things and can’t find half of them. I wish I could make everything. Electronics, clothes, vehicles, magic, food, conversation, toothpaste, children lol. Maybe not the last one. I’m getting there. I know how to hotwire vehicles. That should count for something someday when I want to increase my chances of going to prison. Talk about a scary thought. Prison. I think I would knock myself out daily till my time was up. That way I would have slept through the whole thing.
Chad Gerber
April 30th, 2010 by cgerber
My heart is heavy. I can’t find my stuff!!!! My parents live out of state, and they happen to have a lot of my crap from when I was growing up. Well unlike most people, I tend to constantly reuse things I’ve collected over the years, and every so often I need to dip into my childhood stash for whatever reason. Well some of the important items I need have gone missing. Some of my most important items. Not THE most important items, but some of the more important ones. I called my mother to see if she could track it down in there house. I have a closet in the basement full of my stuff. She couldn’t find anything. Not one single thing. THEN I call cause I think of something else I need, and once again no luck! I swear people hide my things. When I was a kid I would lose things for weeks on end and find them tucked away in some weird spot. Things I always kept close would get stolen I swear! So now I don’t know what to do. I can’t exactly march on into there house and look around, but I can’t MAKE my Mother keep looking. Needless to say it’s got me stressed out. I know if I was there I could at least figure out where they went, or where the next logical place they might be is. I’m left helpless…. and running out of time. These were time sensitive items that believe it or not were kept around in my life because I knew I would come back to them at some point! I never accidentally hang on to things. Ever. I’m preparing. Have been since day one. I just never tell anyone cause they’ll think I’m crazy and ask too many questions. Just so happens I have a little insight on things, and I know what I need. Problem is, what I need has gone missing! I can’t even replace them! I need these particular items! Crap. I have no idea what to do.
Rehearsal was good tonight, did you check it out? We’re still getting Ben Phantom (keyboards) honed in. He has his work cut out for him since he’s doing a load of stuff.
Word on the street is the video should be done next week. My fingers are tightly crossed that’s true. Then I don’t know how long the MTV2 Process is, but I hope not long. I want you all to see it! (We’re not allowed to upload it till MTV2 has premiered it).
Well alright.. any ideas on retrieving my lost items would be greatly appreciated.
Chad Gerber
April 29th, 2010 by cgerber
I’m really cold today. I’m typing this from under the covers lol. Probably doesn’t help I have the fan on and just drank a big glass of cold milk! Doesn’t that sound good? Yeah I thought so.
Was just reading through the new on Yahoo, monitoring our world falling apart. Guess some pissed off guy in China stabbed 28 children in a school, NASA had another failed space launch thing full of telescopes, and according to a survey American’s are more loyal to their “stuff” than employers lol. So in all, way to go world! You’re looking so much better today than 30 years ago I’m sure. Of course that was a summery of the news. I probably missed which celebrity has new lips and which American Karaoke… I mean American Idol singer had a fight with Simon. Since I’ve been up today, without seeing any TV (I don’t have TV) I’ve seen probably 10 ads. 10 companies wanting me to buy stuff. They’re wearing me down! lol. Had I gone anywhere I would have had to jump that number up to probably 50 or 60 different companies trying to suck my money out of me lol. And I’m not talking Mom and Pop shops, I’m talking ALL massive giant billion dollar companies that really don’t need more of my money. But good for them for trying I guess. Nothing wrong with that.
I just realized my shelves look cluttered. So does my door. My whole room is really cluttered. And the walls are bare. Interesting.
Chad Gerber
April 28th, 2010 by cgerber
Well my pedal hunt wasn’t really a total success but I think i’m closer to what I need. The guy at guitar center took me into the little closed amp room where I played through pedal after pedal trying to find the right sound I needed. I never found the EXACT sound, but I did find one very close. It’s called the OCD, made by Fulltone here in LA. Ugly little pedal, but lots of sound. My ears were hurting during the process because whenever I try out amps, guitars, or pedals, guitar salesmen always assume since I’m a guitar player that I probably can’t hear. So it never fails that they crank the amps incredibly loud, and it makes my ears feel like they’re ripping apart lol. I guess that’s what I get for protecting my ears all these years. I just have this goal of playing till I’m 100, so going deff isn’t really an option. Anyway, the testing was good, I need to do some research on this OCD pedal though. 2012 helped me the whole time. I would go through pedals and he would give his opinion and stuff. It was pretty fun. I don’t really enjoy pedal shopping cause I always end up with one I don’t like years down the road lol.
Still waiting on some date details and where. Kind of looking into a run up to Denver at some point this summer, and maybe even TX but I don’t know yet. We’re still testing the whole tour climate if that makes sense. So I’ve got a billion dates flying around in my head from tour dates, spot dates, video release dates, vacation dates, blah blah blah. I’m also trying to get business people AND friends to freakin reply to my emails! This happens every so often where it’s like my email doesn’t work anymore and nobody returns my emails. Drives me insane and makes me violent. That’s probably why I’m about to watch American Psycho with the dog.
Rehearsal tomorrow night at 5PM. Ocean time. Don’t forget you can tune in and watch/talk to us if you want. There’s a live feed video player on our page. I sent an email off to the web guy cause the player is really small, but if you mess with the options you can make it bigger. If he hasn’t fixed it by tomorrow evening :/ So go HERE to tune in tomorrow.
I found a massive cockroach walking around in the kitchen tonight. I’ve never seen one in here before, and there it was… drinking a martini and smoking a cigarette. He tried to make casual conversation but I knew he was trying to distract me. I reached for the Raid, he threw down his drink and started running for the under sink area. I sprayed him with a nice juicy shot and he kept running. But like a lame animal, he began to choke and cough, stumbling he asked “why, why me, what did I ever do to you?”, and I was like “You killed my brother”. Then he died.
Tomorrow night 5PM..ish PST! LIVE REHEARSAL
Chad Gerber
P.S.
New Pics up in the News Section as well. Go go go go go! or don’t
April 28th, 2010 by cgerber
So below are some of the pics from the UNIHIV charity event we played at with Andrew Ryan. We did some jazzy tunes and it was fun. I however was asked not to wear a hat, thus I look like I eat children. Though I’m not sure if my hair is what makes me look like I eat children, or my skin. No idea. Honestly don’t really care. Although I’m not going hatless again. I hate not wearing a hat. Every time i see myself without a hat I want to shave my head bald. But people tell me I would look horrible bald. I hate hair, so I leave it crazy so I don’t have to deal with it. Other option is to shave it, but everyone says no. I just can’t win lol.
I was up till 5AM this morning working and watching YouTube videos. Been watching some weird ones. This one called The Great Story Ever Denied. Interesting. I need to fill my brain, even if it’s a little out there kind of stuff. I actually like that stuff cause it’s more mysterious that way lol.
Now that the music video has a finish date and all that we’re looking into the release party for it. Not sure where to have it or when, but need to get crackin on that… along with more dates out there. We need a bigger team I think.
Alright, pics are below, enjoy lol
Chad Gerber
Doing some interviews on the carpet
Looking..... greasy lol
Sweatin to the oldies haha
Chillin outside the venue w/ Andrew
2012.... looking eager
Andrew dropping a photo bomb in the back haha
April 28th, 2010 by cgerber
Found a news article of people saying they found Noah’s Ark. You know, the animals, huge flood, everyone dies…. Noah’s Ark! I guess they still have to excavate the site on Mount Ararat in Turkey. There’s pictures inside it with wood beams, little rooms, and frozen hay! lol. It’s crazy. They’re going to do more digging and all that, so time will tell I guess, but it’s still pretty cool. I love ancient history! Well…. not like classroom versions of it, but ones with pictures and CGI animation like on the History Channel lol. I’ll post the news article below if you want to go check it out.
So tonight was a real chill TSD party here. Ate pizza, played video games, watched movies, and just hung out. Trying to get as much use out of that stupid TV since it broken the window out of my car. I figure the more I enjoy it, the less I’ll hate it for that. We also worked tonight too, since band stuff is always 24/7. We went over dates for this summer, merch, tour expenses, free albums (believe it or not giving music away is really complicated), and charities. We’re hoping to officially start working with one that we really really like and think you will too. It’s not some stupid one, this one involves REALLY doing something, and doing something NOW! No faint of heart charity, no vegetarianism in a 3rd world country crap, this one is gritty. Just we expect from ourselves and all of you. We’re fighters, rebels, and not in the system, so I can’t wait to see how we all (you included) get involved. You’ll love it. I’m so not about JUST giving money to stuff, I want people to get dirty, bloody, angry about the crap that gets buried under the feel good charities out there. They might be good and all that, but The Suicide Denial just likes to do things the aggressive way I guess lol. Should know more about all that later this week.
Tomorrow 2012 and I are making a long Guitar Center run. I need to fish out the right distortion pedal for the stuff coming up. See on the album I produced it with the guitars being much fuller by doubling them, but my amp isn’t capable of reaching that thickness live, so I need to find a pedal that will bump it up without making it sound like crap. Not a whole lot of fun, but needs to be done.
I think we have another rehearsal Thursday night with Ben Phantom, so don’t forget to tune in if you’re around online! It’s in our “NEWS” section.
Catching a flight to Middle Earth.
Chad Gerber
Noah’s Ark Article (and yes I know it’s fox news lol)
April 27th, 2010 by cgerber
Mint is disgusting. Why I’m cursed with hating mint I’ll never know. Do you have any idea what it’s like brushing your teeth your whole life with mint toothpaste, literally gagging every time you spit it out? I never knew there were options, and my Mom didn’t know it made me gag, so I just dealt with it. Sure I gagged everyday after brushing my teeth, but I didn’t think there were options. About a year ago I tried an option that was kids water mellon or something lol. It tasted great, but it turned my teeth grey haha. So I had to go back to mint. Then some incredible happened… I found Tom’s Organic Toothpaste! In Orange flavor! Now brushing my teeth is easy peasy lol. I never gag, though I still have mint phobia and leave my tongue tucked in the back of my throat the whole time I brush, but int all it’s a good experience and I don’t hate brushing my teeth anymore! In case you might be thinking “ew, he didn’t brush his teeth very much before I bet” you’re wrong. Somehow I ended up having braces on my teeth 3 times total! 3 times! Who has braces 3 times?! So I’m all about taking care of my teeth. What a waste if I lost them all to oldness one day. :(
Mint. So mint makes me gag, and sometimes I’ll be at a party or something and someone will come walking by and be like “Chocolate?”, and of course I snatch it up, throw it in my mouth, and slowly taste the chocolate melt away revealing more gagging mint! Why do we have this stuff? Can we not do better? I think I even ate mint in Korean food once and it made me vomit all day till I was vomiting blood. Seriously. But I can’t totally blame the mint for that cause I’m not sure what all went down with that situation. Lets make a movement away from mint and more towards orange shall we? I agree.
Chad Gerber
April 27th, 2010 by cgerber
Tonight was interesting. I get on craigslist here in LA to find some furniture and come across this “Free HD TV” ad. I hit the dude up and turns out he’s giving away his HD mega beasty TV across town. I make 2012 help me, and we go to move this it, but the thing is this seriously abnormal TV. It’s 36 inches, so I assumed it wouldn’t be that bad, but it ways almost 300lbs! I have moved all kinds of heavy things in my life, I even had a piano moving job once, and this thing was the worst. We lifted and scooted the thing down a flight of stairs, and across the guys apartment complex lobby. Went to put it in the back of the car and the hatchback lid kept hitting 2012 in the head, which in turn would make me laugh really hard, and we almost dropped the TV on the ground. We work the thing in, all is well. Start heading back across town, heading down the 110 South past downtown area, and as we merge onto the 10 the TV slowly rocks as we loop around, falls over, and blows the side window out all over the freeway. Just like a car chase in a movie, the window is totally gone as if it was shot out. Glass was crumbling out the window, into the car, tumbling off the tilted mega beasty TV….. it was grand. Now I have a white trash bag on the window and no idea when I’m going to get the thing fixed. I hate cars. We hooked up the TV, played some video games in HD, and watched a movie. The whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about the stupid window. Just blew it right out.
Chad Gerber
April 26th, 2010 by cgerber
Today feels like I’m in a padded room… waiting for food. Or to go to the bathroom. Nobodies coming though. I call and call for someone, but they don’t answer. In other words, today is another day of emailing, calling, and nobody getting anything done. Nobody getting anything done results in me contacting more people, which then turns into me waiting on them as well lol. At this point I start to day dream of flying around in a little personal jet. I would fly and see friends, fly to NY and eat lunch, maybe dive into the ocean and drive around under water. I would just fly around all day. Or maybe I’ll overthrow a 1.5 kilowatt radio station and broadcast something important, then flee from the authorities on a Ducati, swerving around traffic and jumping toll bridges! I don’t know. I keep checking my email and phone every 3 seconds to see if anyone has something done, but no. Not to mention I lost all my effects pedals somehow. I need those effects pedals, and now they’re lost! Kind of sad really. I’m sure they’ll turn up. I hope. I’ve had some of them since I was 14.
I fond a couch on the street yesterday and took it inside. It was a little dirty, but after some cleaning and washing, it looks really nice. I was so inspired by the find that I drove around other neighborhoods looking for stuff lol. I didn’t see anything. Although there is a nasty red coffee table out on the street today. It’s so hard to pass up free stuff sometimes!
I’ve had to pee since I was drifting in and out of sleep this morning and still haven’t.
The kitchen looks like it threw up last night or something. Dishes and meat sauce everywhere. Pretty sure the dog go into the trash too. I just want to spray the entire kitchen with a hose and be done with it.
Well I have extremely important things to wait on, so I should get that done.
Chad Gerber
